Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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What do call a man with no arms or no legs that sits on the couch? Grandpa after his amputations.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, you are a liar, oh wait you're not!! MY BACKYARD'S ON FIRE

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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Three left giraffe testicles fell out of the sky and into a woman's grocery bag. "Did you know that 16 people die from dolphin rape every year? said Adolf Hitler as he began eating a horse.

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What do you get when you drink water? Piss.

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Whats better then a guard llama two Guard llamas

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Q: What's worse than a black guy with a gun? A: the holocaust

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I bought a pound of gold for my new gold ring, later that day I lost it

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Mary had a little lamb, its heart was black as coal, it crept into her room one night and ate her f***ing soul

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Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting shot in the knee several times and bleeding to a slow and painful death.

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How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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Q:If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is here to hear it, will it make a noise A:That Philosopher probably had a lot of herbal tea in the morning

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Why did the black man eat KFC? Because he got hungry.

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how does bob marley like his doughnuts? Sugared

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How do you starve a zombie? You dont, they are allready dead.

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Why did the boy fart on his sister? Because he was sitting on her, and happened to pass gas.

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Hey, do you want to play the rape game ? NO! That's the spirit

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Honk if you're Amish!

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Knock knock. Why do you say the words "knock knock" without actually knocking on the door?

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Whats the difference between KFC and Starbucks? KFC didn't murder your sister.

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Q- what did the magician say after the sawed the woman in half ? A- call an ambulance !

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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