Why is the beach always so angry? The beach is just sand and waves and lacks sentience, but makes up for it in crabs.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

dyslexics of the world untie!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q:Wy could't lily sleep at night? A: Becasue her eays were stappeld open.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I fear I do, maybe someone fooled you, but that was originally one of my aliases.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you get pikachu onto a bus? You can't. Pikachu is a fictional creature and therefore does not exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: what did humoure say to lie A: u must be tellin a lie

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because animals walking across a paved street is a very common occurrence ever since the industrialization of the modern world.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do dogs and keyboards have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was john's balls itchy? Because he recently gained a severe infestation of pubic lice.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

jim is constantly asking bob the same questions, bob brings this to attention and suggests that jim might have amnesia. jim agrees and they move on iwth the conversation. minutes later jim asks a simaler question brought to attention earlier because he has amnesia

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the boy do with his ice cream? He ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what's the difference between a duck? You can't wash a window with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. I guess I make a good milkshake.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the T-Rex say to the caveman? Nothing. Tyrannosaurus Rex was a prehistoric land animal that roamed the Earth roughly 65 million years before the appearance of man. Making such a conversation impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

My wife told me that I should see things from a woman's point of view. So I looked out the kitchen window.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what do you call a door made of steel? a steel door

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Thank you for flying Buzzy Fly Airlines. Today we'll be flying around Uranus.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is more boring than watching paint dry? Aids

thumb_up thumb_down -15

way do Japan bomb pearl harbor because America hat sex with China [watch Hetalia]

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, didn't you read the sign on the front door? It says, "People with suits on will not be served." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why does my friend pick up garbage? Because he is a garbageman.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Yo mama is so old, she might die soon! - Louis

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman? A. Cause you have to hollow out it's head! A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears. The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?" The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. Still not satisfied, the doctor asked, "Well, what happened to the other ear?" "The sucker called again!"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Yeah sure, you have "absolutely... ...No... ...Reason..." to... Fucking... use... This... place... at... all... But you seem to be here all the fucking time, what fucking sense does that make? That is not the matter at all fagface! Your fucking goons assaulting me because "I stole one of your aliases?" I was born Nero and will die fucking Nero, not Nerometal, not Nero of Neronism, just Nero your friendly rapist! Yeah Ill give you my fucking social info, so you... and... your... excessive... use... of... this shit... can... send... your ...fucking assholes to finish the job! Listen bitch! I am a writer! And your faggots stabbed off like half of my eyeball! I don't give a damn about this site, I want your fucking assholes to stop seeking me out in person! Hell, give me your social info, so we can "make a fucking settlement" Where I break off your head and shit down your neck!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops