Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they stink.

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What happens when you give someone a free chocolate bar? ThEeyroast it and vapourise it intheir hands....no they eat it

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What's the best way to win a race? Run faster than all other participants.

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Roses are Red Violets are Red My Garden is on Fire.

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Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because it is the norm with that particular religious group to circumcise male infants shortly after birth.

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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What do you call a building full of Mexicans? JAIL.

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What do you get when you put a black guy in a blender. Why are you still reading....

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb. One

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Ill never forget the last phone conversation i had with my Jewish friend before he died due to the 9/11 incident. Friend:owejpq3jhp3qjopiqwejhriopjhaiophfioashiohwih13ioh3f2893hoiqehefioahfioahisdpahdfajdfopasjiopdfajdfopsajradalkdjakldja;hdfkl;adhlpa;dhfakl;dhkladhkadhlkhdjklahdjkgsdjkgbdqwgy3bi3grqbhgjkasjkdkasjdgjkadgskajgdkajdsgjkasgdad

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One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver. She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so. She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you." He replies "BREASTS."

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Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, come at me again and I'll punch you

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette have a contest to see who can get the most likes on their profile pictures. They are all attention-whores.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Whats the difference between 10 dead babies and 8 dead babies? 2 dead babies.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot lost control of the plane.

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So a man walks into a bar and gets drunk.

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Hi im a joke i eat turtles

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If youre African, why are you white?

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Why did the black person sit in the back of bus? All the other seats were taken.

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. He crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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Knock Knock! Who’s there? Alligator! I'm positively sure that Alligators are unable to talk, now please tell me who this is before I call the police.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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