A cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. Well, okay, it doesn't actually order it. It more of meows in a begging fashion and the bartender, being a kind individual, gets the lost animal a bowl of milk. But who's to argue semantics?

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A mermaid walks into a bar, but she has no legs, so she flops over and proceeds to drag herself into the bar.

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Why did the black kid die? He had cancer.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Whatever their names happen to be.

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Jesus can walko water Humans are 70% water I can walk on humans Therefore i am 70% Jesus

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a black guy, a white guy, and an asian guy walked into a bar. It was an interracial bar, and served men and women of all nationalities.

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My mom told me I was pretty, I know now that she is a liar.

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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Why did the man have a hard time trying to open the door? The door was locked

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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What did the man say when he found a bar of soap in his mailbox? Why is there soap in my mailbox?

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What did little Timmy find at the bottom of the well? The fact that he could no longer breathe and thus causing him to drown.

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Who's the best German Chef? Hitler

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why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

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you wanna hear a good anti joke?, so do i

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It's not that hard to be Dyslexic. You just have to accept it nad ovem no.

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I never knew I was dyslexic. Then one day I showed up to a toga party dressed as a goat.

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If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

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Why wouldn't Michael J. Fox make a good Sniper? Because he has no military experience.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

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What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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sometimes when im bored i dress in white pour water on the ground and roll around in it and pretend im a papertowel

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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