How do you kill Lady Gaga? There is no point in trying, she is too heavily guarded.

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How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea leaves for around 5 minutes in hot water.

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What do you call a black lady with big boobs? Oh, wait, it's just a fat black guy.

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How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Sex

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What did the orphan get for christmas........Cancer

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Why is there a rock in a boy's foot? He wasn't weraing shoes.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs? An amputee

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A Duck walks into a bar.

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Once upon a time, your dog got hit by a car this morning

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Q: Knock knock Q: Who's there? A: Not Suzie

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What's brown and sticky? A piece of toffee, which is brown and/or dark brown in color.

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"Hey have you seen Stevie wonders car. Neither has he.

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"Where's your mom?' "She died last night. . ."

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Want to hear a funny joke Rojo Bunchie

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A little boy went to a sleep over . They watched a episode of pokemon and the flashing lights triggered the boys epilepsy he was driven to hospital and is recovered.

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The opposing forces behind all human beings is not light vs darkness, not good vs evil, but fear vs ' love. Whatever is overwhelmingly good for one person, is evil to many. Overwhelming darkness wont allow you to see. Overwhelming light will make you blind. You can never fear overwhelming love. You can never love overwhelming fear. These are the true polar opposites, part of all emotion that drive the human being.

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I'm sorry sally your grandmother is dead. LOL _ grandpa Laugh out loud!. I can't belive you. I thought it meant lots of love Grandpa-ha funny mistake though right?

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Uh Oh you just fell, So, So I've got one thing to say to you, And what's that Don't fall it gets you down!!!!!!!!

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You: I have a question Person: Yes You: Do you have an answer?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Xiao Kaan Xiao kaan who? Fu*k you ugly lauuhhh

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what does matt daly like to do in his free time anal

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1)Where do you find a turtle with no legs? 2)Where? 1)Where you left it. 1)... Knock Knock... 2)Who's there? 1)...Not the turtle...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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