Knock knock. Who's there? Honey, are you hearing things again? Nobody knocked on the door... Honey-are-you-hearing-things-again-nobody-knocked-on-the-door who? ...

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What did Johnny do this wednesday? He went to school to be academically taught to get a high GPA of all the other children so he could go and pursuit his dream so he won't be left at home with a drunk wife and 6 kids with $190,000 in debt from the IRS

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A woman who owns a parrot leaves her home, forgetting that a plumber is scheduled to come fix her sink. A few minutes after she leaves, the plumber arrives and knocks on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waits for a minute and, seeing that nobody has come to the door, knocks again. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, a little more loudly, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink!" The plumber waits for a minute and bangs hard on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screams, "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIINK!!!" Just then, the plumber clutches his chest and falls dead to the ground. When the woman returns home, she sees the dead man in front of her door. She opens her door to go to her phone and asks the parrot, "who is it?" The parrot replies, "WHO IS IT?"

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A horse trots into a bar. He is left with a bump on his head.

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I told my friend one of these anti-jokes, he took it seriously and beat my head with a bat.

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A woman walks into the kitchen to see her husband cooking dinner because gender stereotypes have been dead for years.

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Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, if it weren't for the women our peckers would rust. By:Jhonny Thomas Spikes & Trenton Thomas Prather

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What's funnier than 9/11? Nothing. 9/11 wasn't funny. It was a terrible tragedy, the most tragic in U.S. history. If you think that is funny you are a sick person. By: Logan in South Dakota

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Skrillex.

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How do you get a girls number? Grow some balls and ask for it.

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you know your just like my pinkie toe........eventually i am going to bang you on a table

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A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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why did the bus roll down the hill? Children were playing in the street.

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why was the pen mad at the pencil? it wasnt. objects don't have feelings

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What did the little black boy get for Christmas? Hopefully something nice.

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Why did George Bush climb the Statue of Liberty? I'm not sure, as this incident is not covered in any of the myriad books written about his administration.

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Roses are blue Colton is gay

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Did you hear about the young couple that confused K-Y jelly with window caulking? All their windows fell out.

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Who won the race? I don't know look it up.

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Pandas Everywhere!!!

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What do you get when you jump into the Red Sea? Wet.

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why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

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What's funnier than 24? Nothing, 24 is just a number. There's is nothing humorous about it. Go away.

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What is black and white and red all over? I don't know. I was hoping you did.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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