Why did Todd have intimacy problems? He was molested as a child.

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why was the boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walk briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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Q: What did the black man say to the sheriff? A: Good day, officer

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How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? ...You mean, you don't know?

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What has got 56 eyes, 1 leg and 3 arms ? I don't know but that's right behind you.

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What's the coolest place to be in the solar system? Uranus.

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Why did the cop pull the black guy over because he was speeding

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because no cars were coming.

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Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

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What do you call a Mexican policeman? Officer.

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The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

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Woman:I give my Heart to You! Man:Thank You!!! The Woman then dies because one can't live without a heart

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Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

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What's the difference between a ferrari and pile of dead babies? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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What do you call a skeleton in a closet? The hide-and-seek champion.

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What did Steve say when his leg got chopped off? Nothing, he went into a state of shock before blacking out due to loss of blood. Later on, he died, and a week later, a funeral was held, in which nobody showed up, because nobody cared for Steve.

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Why does it take 7 years for Harry Potter to kill Voldemort? Voldemort is a very powerful wizard and Harry Potter is just learning magic at the beginning so he is not prepared to fight him.

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How do you kill Chuck Norris? Shoot him in the face.

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2 Black men walk into the bar.. Guess what? There still black.

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You can't choose your family, so choose someone else's.

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A man wakes up in the hospital after being in a car accident. He begins to yell "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor hurries into the room to find out why the patient is yelling. The doctor then promptly explains that this was due to the crash severing his spinal cord and rendering him paraplegic for the rest of his life. The doctor after explaining this states he'll never walk again, before leaving the patient's room.

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The snails are salting one by one Hurrah! Hurrah! They fizzle up until they're gone Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting two by two Hurrah! Hurrah! They melt until there's only goo Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting three by three Hurrah! Hurrah! Some shells and slime is all I see Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting four by four Hurrah! Hurrah! We shaker-salt them even more Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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