A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for some water. The bartender replies: "Sorry, we don't have any." The man responds: "Sorry, I'm drunk." He walks out.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens don't have the cognitive capacity to reason. So you'd never know

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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have you seen stevie wonder's harmonica? neither has he.

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why did the little girl eat grapes? because she felt like it.

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What happened when the man turned on his TV? It was tuned to the Discovery Channel

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If your riding your bicycle down the railroad tracks and your wings fall off how much icecrea does it take to fill a upside down doghouse

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A man goes to a petting zoo. He sees a zookeeper wrestling a bear. The bear kills the zookeeper and escapes from it's cage. It promptly mauls the rest of the staff and visitors at the zoo until it is shot by local police.

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What happened when Mark's hair died? He got depressed that he was growing old and the signs of it were showing.

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What is a jew in space? Dead

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue Wait Arent Violets purple?

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Do you know why Justin Bieber is so successful? Because he is a talented dancer-singer who was lucky enough to be discovered by pop music icon Usher.

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OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

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Why couldnt the old man ski? There was no snow.

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Whats worse than Lindsey Lohans vagina? Nothing.

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how do you make a boy cry you cut out his eyes

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What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

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An artist walks into a bar and orders a rum and ckoe. The bartender reads the first sentence and realizes the artist is dyslexic and fixes him a rum and coke.

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What's black, white, and red all over? That could describe any number of objects.

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An African-American is like a hammer. It can't be trusted in the hands of women.

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why did the midget beat the basketball player in a foot race? the basketball player got bit by a scorpion and died within minutes.

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When ducks fly in a V formation do you know why one side is longer than the other? Because there are more ducks on that side.

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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How do you make the general public confused? ...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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