The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

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Three blind mice. See how they run. Into things.

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What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Sorry, I'm a poof.

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A man walks into a bar.. and has a bomb strapped to his chest

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a black guy walks into a park with a group of five other black guys. they then proceed to have a nice picnik and play frisbee with a little white boy.

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What did the smurf say to the other smurf? Smurf

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Why are black people scared of chainsaws? Because the chainsaws go run nigga nigga run.

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What do you call a boy with no arm and no legs in a fire? Screwed.

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Roses are red My bulb is blue My pants are extending When I look at you

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Girls Lacrosse.

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What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

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one day a boy asked a Manican if it had a pulse it didn't

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Every week or so Chuck Norris does his laundry.

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve her because she is not yet 21.

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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Why couldn't Jimmy wash his hair? He has leukemia and therefore no longer has hair.

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roak

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What do you call a guy with aids? Your dad

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What did the pony say when it lost its voice? Nothing. Ponies are incapable of speech.

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What's the difference between tiger woods and Santa clause? Tiger woods is a thug

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You know those people that learned the true name of God, as God asked kindly... ...Well you know God can be nice sometimes but he actually COMMANDED they keep his name secret forever? They became the first people known as Jehova`s witnesses... JEHOVAH<<< SECRET NAME ANYBODY? So much for keeping his secret name guys! They claim that only a few thousand humans will ascend to heaven, in other words all of the JEHOVA`s witnesses... All two billions of them or something... For keeping his name (Cough JEHOVAH) secret. SUCCESS!

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Knock knock! Go away. I'm busy masturbating, and it would be extremely awkward if you were to entire my residence at this time. Please return at a later hour.

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What do you call black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist bastard

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What is a pirate's favorite color? It depends on the pirate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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