How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

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Whats green, furry and it stole christmas? A Robber with a Christmas tree on his back

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How do I want to die? From Chuck Norris killing me, that would be an honor.

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When geese fly in the "V" shape, why is one side longer than the other? There are more geese on that side.

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Why did the man fall over? He was blind.

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what is big round and fat? Your MOM

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What's brown an sticky Shit

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A: Doctor doctor help me! B: Sorry, I'm not actually a doctor, stop calling me that!

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Why did Suzie fall off the Swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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What do black people do with M&Ms? They eat them.

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knock knock Whos there? (the boy who knocked proceeds to run away with laughter)

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do you know whats worse than a bad joke on antijoke.com the holocaust.

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What is the difference between an empty bucket and a bucket of water? The Water.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was suicidal

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So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

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A paralyzed guy walks into a bar... Oh wait, he can't.

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...and the rabbit says, "How 'bout that schnitzel!"

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Refrigerator

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Your in Thailand on a Elephant ride... at the end you jump off but uncle jack is still on the elephant and the elephant wont let him off.... Do you help your uncle, Jack off the elephant?

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A woman who lived alone with her parrot left her apartment to run to the store, forgetting that a plumber was scheduled to come and fix her sink. A few minutes later, the plumber arrived and knocked on the door. The parrot inside called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, "it's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waited for a bit and, seeing that nobody was coming to the door, knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, a little more loudly, "it's the plumber! I've come to fix the sink!" Again the plumber waited. After a few more minutes, he knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber yelled, as loudly as he could, "IT'S THE PLUMBER! I'VE COME TO FIX THE SINK!" Still, nobody came to the door. The plumber banged the door repeatedly, The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screamed "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIIINK!!!" and then, consumed with rage, clutched his chest and fell over dead from a stress-induced heart attack. A few minutes later, the woman returned home and, while opening her door, noticed the plumber lying dead in her hallway. She looked at her parrot and asked, "Who is it?" The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?"

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A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the glass from the other man and throws it on the with all his power to the floor. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

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Q why was John bullied A Becuase he told kids that bullying was a bad and serious problem to get them to stop bullying jimmy unfortunately Jimmy killed himself because he was bullied to much and didn't want to live.

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I would like a rum and............ Coke." The bartender asks, curiously, "What's up with the big pause?" The bear looks down at his paws, embarrassed, and mumbles under his breath, "social anxiety."

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I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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