Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

What's the difference between girl scouts and boy scouts? Girl scouts are usually females and boy scouts are usually males.

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she was dead.

What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

A Muslim, a Jew and a Christian are on an airplane talking about religion. The Jew tells the Christian he believes in a single holy entity. The Christian says he believe Christ is the Son of that very same entity. The Muslim says "When can I get out of this room?" because he's been detained at the airport due to religious profiling.

anti-joke.ru - russian style

what happened when Bob told a joke? Joe laughed.

Why did the penguin die? It got eaten.

How do you make a plumer sad? You kill his children.

How many seeds does a watermelon have? None. It is seedless.

A police man pulls over a blonde for speeding. The policeman tells her she was speeding and starts to write a ticket. She get emotional and begins to cry. He writes the ticket, she signs it, and she drives off.

whats worse than a bee sting, two bee stings, whats worse than two bee stings, the holocaust, whats worse than the holocaust, tree bee stings...

What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

What do you call two black men riding on a tandem bicycle? Best friends.

What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

When does the ice cream get thrown at the yellow horse on thursday evening? Purple Monkey Rainbow

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

Why was the boy sad? Because his family was raped and stripped of their possessions

A man shouts a women crossing the road "Oi, get your rat out love!" So she did, and it savaged his face.

Have you heard the one of the two headed man an the horse? Neither have I

Why wasn't the black man served at the bar? Because they didn't serve his kind there... Did I say black guy? I meant to say a horse, wait, did I say bar? I meant the barn, yes, a horse walks into a barn but they couldn't serve him because he wasn't tamed

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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