What do Austrailian cows say? Moo.

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A Horse walks into a Bar. The barman says "Why the long face?" The Horse had cancer.

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What do you call an giraffe? Well, you should probably call it a giraffe if you want people to think you are literate and know your grammar.

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What did the Fish say to the other Fish? Nothing, fish cant talk.

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Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

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why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

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Why did the Fly die? Cause it died the average life span is 30 days.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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What is the best way to run a race? Start out fast, run fast in the middle, and finish fast.

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Why couldn't the dumbass go to colledge? He couldn't open the door.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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What did Sam Houston Say to Jim Bowie when he say all the Mexicans coming Towards the Alamo? That's a lot of Mexicans.

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Q: What cat walks on two feet? A: Garfield Q: What mouse walks on two feet? A: Mickey Mouse Q: What duck walks on two feet? A: Donald Duck? A: No, all ducks you dipshit.

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What do a carrot and a kangaroo have in common? Nothing...

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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Q:whats the difference between a black man and a bunk bed A: a bunk bed can support 2 kids

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Why did the chicken cross the road Time for you to get a watch

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Why didnt santa leave presents under the tree? Because santa doesnt exist.

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a duck walks up to a lemonade stand. thats impossible, because nature says that ducks cannot walk.

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Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

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What did the Asian man say to the Mexican man? Nothing, due to the language barrier.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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