What do Richard and Judy have in common? Nothing.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He cannot read the drink menu.

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so... how about that airplane food

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*knock knock* "Who's there?" "It's the police, I'm afraid your husband was in a car crash and died."

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What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

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Friends are like trees, They fall down if you hit them several times with an axe.

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Why did Bert go to the doctor? He had an appointment.

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I read my Uncle an anti-joke. He is still wondering why it made no sense to him.

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What did the lawyer say to a lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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A man walks into a bar. He gets wasted and forgets the punchline.

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Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because it is the norm with that particular religious group to circumcise male infants shortly after birth.

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What did the dyslexic say to the nun? When I write, I typically misplace letters in words.

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What do you call a group that has a microphone, a bass, two guitars and a drum kit? A Band

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Why was the young Jewish boy afraid at camp? Because his scoutmaster is a pedophile.

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Why did Jenny fail her driving test? She was hit by a train.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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Why was the pirate not allowed into the movie? tickets were sold out

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What did the strawberry say to the strawberry? Nothing because strawberries are fruit and can't talk

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has anybody else just skipped to the short ones

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Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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Nah really, I start giggling like a dork whenever weird porn or whatever shows up on my computer, its just too weird. Fine ill use my glasses then, thanks for the comment by the way, I was really regretful for sending you that pic, but then again I did not have contacts then, nor did I want to photoshop anything.

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Two pies where sitting in a oven when one of the pies says: God damn it's hot in here. The other pie screams out loud: HOLY SHIT A TALKING PIE!

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why did the kid fall off the swing? someone threw a fridge at him

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Yo momma so fat she when god said let there be let he said get the fuck out the way!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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