Why did Susie fall off the swing?? ShE had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there? Not Susie

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell off a cliff? That never happened. I just checked Wikipedia.

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Donald Duck walks into a drug store and asks the lady behind the counter for a bag of condoms. So the lady says, "Sure thing sir, would you like me to put that on your bill"? Donald says," THIT(Shit)NO, I'LL THUFFOCATE! (Suffocate)

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How do you make a nerd cry? Give him a 99% on a test.

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Why didn't the chicken not get across the road? Cause it's head got shot off by some drunk asshole

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Why do midgets wear condoms? To avoid unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.

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Knock-Knock Whos there? You You who? Yoohoo! is anybody home?!! Well obviously or i wouldn't have talked to you. Idiots these days!

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What did the man say to the butterfly? To the butterfly? Nothing. He was probably talking to himself.

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What did Mel Gibson say to the African-American? I'm sorry

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So a guy is playing jeopardy and decides to choose the category "Therapist." so he tells the host, "I'll take the rapist for 200."

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What walks on it's hands My uncle

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How do you kill a pirate? Throw him of a bridge

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

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how did helen keller's parents punish her? stuck a plunger in the toilet

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what is the ??? crust^2 + Cool Whip

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What did the ocean say the other ocean? Nothing, bodies of water are incapable of speech.

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What did the man say when he put his genitals in a blender? Argggghhh!

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What did the black man say to the fat Irish lady? Hi.

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one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only A n a l because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

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Where did Wendy decide to work for her part time job? TACO BELL

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Who got sarah pregnant? No one knows. She was a whore.

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Why did the cow fall Cause a fat kid pushed him over

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Yo mama is so ugly that she never got married or involved with anyone in her lifetime because everyone was to scared and ashamed to be around her. you're adopted

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The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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