I popped my head over my sexy neighbour's fence today to see her lying in her bikini. "Wow, you're gorgeous!" I burst out, "I hope you know how to do CPR." "Why?" she asked with a giggle, "Because I've taken your breath away?" "No," I replied. "I've just run your son over out front."

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What did the three sixteen year old boys do to the homeless man late at night? Wished him a happy birthday and gave him a meal

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What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

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Once there was a pig named Poga. When he grew up, he was slaughtered and made into bacon.

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How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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A Muslim, a Jew and a Christian are on an airplane talking about religion. The Jew tells the Christian he believes in a single holy entity. The Christian says he believe Christ is the Son of that very same entity. The Muslim says "When can I get out of this room?" because he's been detained at the airport due to religious profiling.

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Whats sad about 4 blacks riding of a cliff in a cadilac. It was a rental.

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What's the difference between jokes and anti-jokes? Anti-jokes aren't funny.

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What do you do when a hispanic man takes your wallet? Ask him to please give the wallet back to you

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Wanna know how to confuse a blonde? No. I wanna know which way you would prefer to die.

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An elephant walked into a bar. By bar I mean jungle. Elephants aren't capable of walking into a bar.

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the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

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When writing haikus Sometimes, I miscount the syllables See, that line has eight.

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Why did Chuck Norris's calendar go from March 31st to April 2nd? There was a misprint

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I like touching my boobs

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A man walks into a bar gets drunk passes out then goes to rehab because he has a problem

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea. A: Tsunami victims.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did the Triceratops walk into a grocery store? To buy groceries

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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There was once a man named Larry. Larry was an office worker for a paper company. One day when Larry was counting papers he got a papercut on his left hand. Therefore his finger began to bleed as he sat in agony. What did Larry do next? He got up and got a band-aid. Larry continued his paper work at his desk.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a serial rapist.

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Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? Holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops