Why was the old man lying on the floor? He had a heart attack and died

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Did you hear about the Pole who studied for 5 days?

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What happend to the girl in the corner? Idk that's why I asked!! :P

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Im good at other things... ...like giving handshakes

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Why don't birds cry when they get hurt, lose a loved one, or watch opera? How the f*** should I know.

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What do you call a dead man walking? Someone on death row.

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Why do you put babies in the blender feet first? To hear them scream.

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What is faster? A mustang or a corvette? A fighter jet you stupid idiotic piece of crap!

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A blind man walks into a bar... He tragicly attracts aids and dies as the bar is shut down for health purposes

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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There is a tree. its still there. your still reading this, i dont know why, ok im getting sick of writing something that isnt even funny

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a retarded failure

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Why did the cow cross the road? The slaughter yard was on the other side!

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What did Osama say before he was shot? Nothing, it was a surprise attack.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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I walked across a lake once. Someone said "JESUS CHRIST!" to which I replied with "YES?"

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Q- Where did Sally go during the explosion? A- Everywhere!

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Why did the cow cross the road? It was escorted by its owner to get to the slaughter-house.

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A bear and a rabbit are walking i n the woods until they spot a magic genie. The bear mauls the rabbit because it is the rabbit's natural predator and is indifferent to the genie because it has no prior education on persian mythology.

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what do you have to do to confuse a blond? Nothing

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Q: What do you call a dog with metal balls and two-inch legs? A: Animatronic

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What's wrong with the axe murderer that lives down the street?? Nothing.

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whats thin, long and hard? A: a pen is

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What did the man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Oh my goodness! Are you alright?!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops