How do you get a girl with two jobs to drop on her knees? Through a penny on the knees

What's worse than waking up with a clown in your bed? Waking up with a dead clown in your bed.

Mom says my name I reply Coming.

Your mom is so fat, I do not see how she can possibly wipe effectively.

oh hey.

Q: whats worse than finding out you failed an exam? A: finding out you where Hitler in a past life

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I've lost my tractor!

Chicken

Why did the submarine crash? Someone opened the window

Why did the nun cry? 12 babies were killed under her care.

If you call a quiz a quizzicle, what do you call a test? A set of questions or problems used as a means of evaluating the abilities, aptitudes, skills, or performance of an individual or group.

What did the pineapple say to the cucumber? Nothing...the pineapple was incapable of speech, for twas only an infant.

On a scale of 1 to 10, 6 being the highest how confused are you?

Roses are red Violets are blue Thats what they tell me because I'm blind

why am i so sexy? I was raised by a dog.

A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

Knock Knock Whos there Boo OWWW YOU ASS WAT THE F*%^ (crying)

what did the apple say to the orange ? nothing, apples are a fruit and do not have any organs which allow it to be able to talk.

What did the blond say to the ginger Stop drop and roll your hairs on fire

The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

why was Logan sad? he was raped by his daddy multiple times

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the seat next to you? A: Whatever his name happens to be.

pady irish man paddy english man and paddy african man go on a magic slide wat ever you say will be at the bottem paddy irish man said gold paddy english man silver paddy african man almost fell off so he said shit buthalf way down he thought it was fun so he said wee

What did tarzan say when he saw 100 elephants coming over the hill? Look there's 100 elephants coming over the hill What did tarzan say when he saw 100 elephants coming over the hill with sunglasses on? Nothing he did not recognize them

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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