how do you get a 1 armed moron out of a tree? you wave

Have you ever had a traditional Ethiopian Dinner? Neither have they.

What do you call a big hungry duck? A duck thats hungry and big

What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

Q: What did the tree say as he fell? A: Studies have shown plants in general do not have a voice box, thus making plants incapable of speaking.

What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

What do you call a concentration camp with a mental disability? Auschwistic.

When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

why has kallum just changed clothes to speak to a counsellor because he's socially awkward and has no peers

Why did the duck turn black? an oil spill

How many mathematicians does it take to count?

Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

Knock, Knock! Go away!

How many shots do you have to take to start feeling light-headed? Ask JFK.

A white man, a black man and an asian walked into a bar. They got a drink and discussed multiple issues of the day and then went their seperate ways home.

What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

what types of people have big noses? people whose parents both carried the recesive gene.

So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach? She wanted a tattoo.

What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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