Why is there trees? Because they change color... Oh yeah and for oxygen by Burflared

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How do you make a suicide jumper not jump? Shoot him instead.

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? Someone shot it.

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what has one ear, one leg, one eye, one arm, and is Jewish half a Jew

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Why was the black man in school detention? For sleeping in and showing up late accidently

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Send creepy emails to this email address: matt.harrington@highlandcatholic.org

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69

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I walked in ony my daughter masturbating. The whole ordeal was very uncomfortable, but I sat her down at the dining table to discreetly explain the necessity of locking doors.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: You were adopted.

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Why is Justin bieber gay? Because he is atracted to men

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What has eight wheels and cost more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

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How do you know when a Captcha defect causes you to post the same anti-joke three times? Canteloupe.

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Teacher: which vegetable makes your eyes water? Student: Any vegetable. Teacher: How? Student: Just rub any vegetable in your eyes and see what happens.

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My lady, that is the backside of trust, I have decided to trust you, how am I supposed to feel about the fact that I believe to the point where I know that you mean everything you are saying? And that if you had any interest in backstabbing me, I would be risking my life, wife and friends. Do you not get trust? If you keep thinking like that, tomorrow you could be suspecting the mailman for being a spy, I can, and could tell you that I will cut ties with my employees, but then I would have you not only to believe me, but to support me financially, I do not need much, in fact, I need you to trust me, and if you do not trust me, what does it matter if I quit? You could accuse me for typing books that alter the mind (all books do), you could accuse me of having killed Nero and taken over... The point is, if you cannot trust me, then I cannot help you with what you ask, and if that is a requirement for our friendship to persist, then you are not looking for a friend, but for a employee.

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A black man got sentenced go prison for stealing a car. He didn't do it.

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A man walks into a bar. Suddenly, he is filled with a strange feeling, as if his life is somehow the subject of a stupid joke. He walks back out of the bar and consults a psychiatrist.

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One day Rebecca Black was driving down the street in a brand new convertible Luckily a policeman pulled her over after observing that she was far too young to be driving a car. Underage driving is a serious offense and should not be endorsed in music videos.

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Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

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Why does Santa Claus drink so much hot Cocoa? Because Mrs. Claus got tired of his constant drunkenness and won't allow beer in the house in the house anymore.

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Ring Ring! Hello? Hello, is your refrigerator running? Yes it is Good.

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What's worse than having a zit on your face? Getting blue waffle.. google if you don't know what blue waffle is..

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A man offered a little boy a ride home. He drove the boy home where his father preceeded to beat him senseless.

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why did the boy loose his job.... because he was only 14,dont know how he got it in the first place Chuckles

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An irish man stumbles out of a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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