Why did the man fall off of his bike? He was hit by a car and died in a tragic accident.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he died.

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What was that pirate movie rated? PG-13

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what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

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Why was the Black Boy shot? It was because he was walking alone at night in a dangerous neighborhood, where there are many gangs. People should know not to go alone at night in dangerous places, or even in the day.

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What do 2 arabs say to each other in a super-market? For those of you who don't know your history, the true Lebanese are Phonecians. As such, they are not Ishmaelites/Arabs. They are from the house of Jaffeth. the youngest of Noah's sons. Arabs are from the house of Shem (i.e., Shemites/Semites), the oldest of Noah's sons, and Hamm, Noah's middle son who fathered Cannah with his mother. Haggar, the woman with whom Abraham fathered Ishmael, was a Cannonite. As such, Ishmael, the father of the Arabs, is half Semetic and half Hammetic. The true Lebanese are neither. Furthermore, the first non-Jewish Christian church was established with the Gentiles (the children of Jaffeth) in Lebanon. And then the shop blew up.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless he's a witch doctor, then you'll need an apple and some ayaheusca. The fractal dream will destroy time and space as consciousness returns upon itself at times end

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What's three times More dangerous than a war? Three wars

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What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for her birthday? A S.T.D

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Knock Knock Whos There Policeman Policeman who Please open then door your fathers been in a terrible car accident

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whats worse then finding your mom with your boyfriend? finding your dad with your girlfriend.

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how doyou wake up lady gaga youu poke er face

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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Why couldnt jim jump rope? His feet were nailed to the ground.

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What did the man say to the other man? Hi

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I have CDO it's like OCD but in the right order

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What did Petunia say to the other Petunia Hi there Petunia

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Chuck Norris has normal human strength.

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Kevin stinks signed Taggart. Is this how you do it!!!

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Q.How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A.You don't. You kill her.

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q. what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile a. hey robin get in the bat mobile

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a black man, a jew, a mexican and an irish man walked into a bar and the bartender says: This is joke right??

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How do you know when a bag of chips is stale? It is past the expiration date.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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