What do you get when you cross a bus full of cancer patients and a train full of children? A very sad train accident.

What is my name? I dont know

Q. What happened to the man that kept an open hand? A. He is in jail because he beat his family

Why did Kim Kardashian's and Kris Humphries marriage last so long? It didn't

I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

A man lying in bed at night rolls over and starts rubbing his wife's back. She says, "Not tonight, honey, I have a headache." Her husband respected her wishes and went to sleep.

What would the Swatch be called if it was made by a Croatian company? A Crwatch.

Why was the jewish boy crying? i lied he was happy.

A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

Why can't Micheal J. Fox draw a perfectly straight line? It is impossible for humans to draw perfect lines.

Chuck Norris.

I'm on the seafood diet. I eat clams and shrimp because it is healthy for me.

Wanna hear a joke about a baby with AIDS? It never gets old.

Q:what do you do when a black guy is drowning A:you dont

How do you confuse a Muslim? - Rub his belly.

Why did the piece of gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

What is green and has wheels???? Yo mamma on a Wednesday.

What the difference between a ferarri and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage. That would be murder.

Why did Alfa Kurtoo change his name? Just say Alfa Kurtoo fast!

Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

Knock Knock Who is there? *bang* The following story depicts the life and death of Bob:___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________then he opened the door and was shot in the face.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...