Do you know what my Granddad said to me before he kicked the bucket? He said; how far do you think I could kick this bucket? Then he died.

what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

If a canoe is stuck in a tree with its headlights on, howmany pancakes does it take to cover the roof of my house? False, snakes don't have armpits!

Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

Whats really down a black hole? I don't know...The last person to go down one never came back because he died of AIDS.

Jason's Wife said to him I love you before I left to head to work, Jason then went back inside to see no one was there and he remembered his wife died in 2009.

Q: Wy couldn't the T-rex grab the other Dinosor? A: Because he is extinct.

Why wouldn't someone want to work in the mining industry? Their dad died in the mines.

So an African American man and another man of Hispanic, more specifically Mexico, are riding in the backseat of a car, who's driving? Probably their private chauffeurs, but most definitely not someone related to the Police Department.

TOP COMMENT IS MINE!

Q. whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A. A jew is a human of the jewish religion, and a pizza is food.

Why did the chicken cross the road? They had a sale on dresses on the other side.

What would have happend if martin Luther king was white? I don't know he wasn't so it's irrelevant

Q: What's worse than school? A:Your mum dying

What's better than winning a million dollars? Winning 2 million dollars!

A Blond and a Brunette are falling down to their deaths, which one hits the ground first? Does it matter? They both die anyway.

What's bad about four black men in a car going over a cliff? It was my car.

Are you kidding? If you can slow down time when stressed, then that means that your perception of time is, well... Oh relative, but still wow! What about now though? Can you do it? And for curiosity`s sake, what if you jumped off a roof? Would the stress make it all really slow?

A Horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse, "Why the long face?". The horse didn't understand English, so he took a shit on the floor, and left.

A man walks into a bar, ouch!

John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

what will you never loose if you play world of warcraft your verginity

What is both blue and yellow at the same time? Green.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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