roses are red violets are blue my dick is long longer then you

what do you call a Puerto Rican with no arms? Trust worthy

why didnt the old man go to his sons birthday he died.........nah i lied he went went

What do Michael Jackson and a throbbing, greasy, overcooked Shitake Mushroom have in common? Nothing. Just nothing at all.

you can either take the test now or on monday. (hand movement)

Sometimes i like to paint myself red and then curl up into a ball and pretend i'm a tomato.

What did the suspicious Hunchback say? I've got a hunch.

Racial Equality

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? A teenage girl was texting and driving, didn't see it, and now it's roadkill.

what do u call a man being beaten in the street the cops

KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

What do you call a alcaholic walking down the street..... Roadkill

an average-looking woman walks into a bar. nobody really notices.

What is my name? I dont know

Why did Hitler Commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed by the fact he had lost World War II.

Run, Run, As fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm in a car.

children are much like potatoes. when you eat them, they die.

who do we all like george goodburn

What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They are both purple except for the rabbit.

I saw a TV show last night. And it was good.

Knock Knock Who's there? Charles Grodin. Charles Grodin who? Exactly.

What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender

Q. Why did Michael Jackson call Boys II Men? A. He thought it was a home delivery service.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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