How do you confuse a Muslim? - Rub his belly.

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Why did a little kid have a long face Because his face was stretched out by a truck wheel

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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Joke: two polar bears were in a bath tub. One said "pass the soap." And the other one said "no soap, radio!"

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A black child gives away his piece of fried chicken. He is allergic, and eats some watermelon instead.

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what do you call a black man with a knife in his hand? a surgeon.

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How do you stop a baby falling down a well? Throw a javelin through its forehead.

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Bob is asleep. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT BOB

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What goes round and knocks on windows? A paedophile.

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THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME

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What's comfy and easy to wear? Shorts.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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Why does an ostrich have such a long neck? Because its head is so far from its body.

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Did you hear about Big Chief Running Water? Probably not. Indoor plumbing was invented after Europeans murdered his ancestors.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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why did nick leave school? bECAUSE HE WAS RETARDED

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Jingle bells, jingle bells SHIT MY FOOT

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If the Earth is square, why are trees smart? because you touch yourself at night

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A black man walks into a bar. He is then beaten upon and hung, as this is the 50s.

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Q: Why did the 10 year old squirt his dad with the water hose? A: What to year old WOULDN'T?

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Bill Walters from across the street. How are we talking through a door?

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Q: What did the pedestrian say to the bus driver that hit him? A: Nothing, he died.

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Q: If a Hungarian boy grows up to be a very successful payroll manager and learns to love and hate, show compassion while firing someone, and how to re-image the entire white house's security system, how many pickles are in the doghouse? A: 17

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What do you call an overly-sexual, chewbacca-like creature that smokes cocaine and shoots heroin, while beating its offspring? Mom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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