- Anti Joke

what goes woof ? A dog.

His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

Person 1: Knock Knock Person 1: Who's there Person 1: me me you who you me you who me you no me (say super dooper quickly)

What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

why did bob fall off the swing Because he got hit by a microwave

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken so he could fry it.

Knock Knock Who's there? Sally. I don't know anyone by that name, please go away.

10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

Why did litltle Susie drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON. And Michael Jackson was a child molester.

Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

Whoever is reading this, I love you and I hope you have a great day.

Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness. Oh come on in, I would love to learn more about your religion.

Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

knock, knock who's there you yoohoo i don't like chocolate milk!

Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

What's the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck; the other regrets having you as a child.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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