Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Shark bait.

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Why did the boy want to sleep in the same bed as his parents? His bedroom was on fire.

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What is white and shaped like a refrigerator? A refrigerator.

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Whats fun about having sex with twenty six year olds? Theres twenty of them

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A couple is playing chess. The man then chokes his wife to death, throws her body in a woodchopper, and eats her like cereal- Frost

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You Know what worse than having 10 Kids? Having Eleven

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I once walked into my grandmas house to find her laying face down on the ground. It turns out that everyone was planking but grandma wasn't breathing...

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Smell your breath Coamhin you smelly cunt

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Why is this website called anti-jokes? i don't know but it makes sense.

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What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How do you turn that frown upside down? You move many muscles in your face.

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What does the redhead miss most at a party? Her father. He was in a car accident when she was young.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey.

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Why didn't Johns book get published? He had dyslexia.

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Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

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A Blond and a Brunette are falling down to their deaths, which one hits the ground first? Does it matter? They both die anyway.

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Whats white and can't climb trees? Yogurt.

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Why did the train stop? - It was surrounded by elephants

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Why didnt the cannibal like the taste of the comedian? because the comedian smelled very bad and the cannibal forgot to add salt.

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Why couldn't the Chinese women see... It's because she just got into a terrible car accident and suffered a rental detachment in both eyes. Follow up question, why was the Chinese women even allowed to drive?

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What's bad about four black men in a car going over a cliff? It was my car.

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You are in a room with no doors and no windows. All you have a chainsaw and a mirror. How do you get out? You don't and will slowly die a painful death of asphyxiation.

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It got hit by a rocket.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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