Nero, sure you are okay?

Q: what is socialism? A: a terrible system

What is it... Michael J Fox has a small one, modonna doesnt have one, Arnold Shwatznegger has a long one, the pope doesn't use his, and bill clinton uses his a lot. A last name

What do you do with a leg less dog? Take him for a drag.

A bartender walks up to a church and a synagogue

Even dyslexic people attend church and pray to Dog.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Actually, violets are violet

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance cocvered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being deined coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be covered." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

three people come to a serial killers house. one was annoying one was immature and one was stupid he would put them all in the same boat. then he towed it into shark infested waters, sunk it and watched them speak their mind. the annoying one said "nah nah nuh boo boo you cant eat me!" the immature one said "im gonna ride one!" and the stupid one said "could you please tell your sharks to stop eating my leg? i need it to swim away from these sharks that are eating my leg." moral of the story: dont go to serial killers homes. they will most likely kill you.

what happened when the sports mascot ate a bean and cheese burrito? he shat inside his costume and got fired.

if a sentence contains the words "Chuck Norris" it still has to end up with a period otherwise it is bad grammar and is looked down upon by American society.

On her day off, a fully clothed stripper walks into a bar she's never been to before. The regulars turn their heads to see who has just walked in, then turn back to their own conversations.

theres a mexican, an asian, and an american in a plane, they're about to crash, so they all have to throw out something they have a lot of in their country. The Mexican throws out beans, and says "I have to many of these in my country." The Asian throws out rice and says "i have to many of these in my country." The American throws out the Mexican and says "I have to many of these in my country."

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No Oh... well he hasn't either

Your momma is such a slut, that she has unprotected sexual intercouse several times throughout any given day, with many different men.

How's the weather? Good.

What do you do when a bomb is exploding 2 inches away from you? You die.

Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

what do you call a blonde who can't drive? a poor driver

If Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black had a baby, would it be a boy or a girl? It's a fifty-fifty shot.

god sent down his only son, " his only son." so in gods eyes we are a bunch of girls.

2 Scientists walk into a bar. The first one asks for H20, and the second one asks for H20 too. They both enjoy a refreshing glass of water.

An Irishman, a German, a Jew, and a Mexican walk into a bar...... the Irishman is named designated driver and all four have a safe and enjoyable evening.

Your momma's so fat: She regrets not making the most of her youth whilst she was still attractive.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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