Actual jokes are now obsolete.

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Your mom is so poor; she doesn't have a job.

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If Jimmy had 5 apples and his brother had 5 apples then their father would have been married to their mother before they were born.

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How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

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What did the blind quadriplegic get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

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Why did sally fall off the swings? She didn't have any arms. Knock Knock, Who's there? Not Sally, she doesn't have any arms.

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What do you do when you see an elephant with a basket ball? Engage in play - if the elephant is playing with a basket ball it is most likely domesticated, and if it has toys it's probably well treated. Well-treated elephants raised in captivity are tolerant, sociable, intelligent and playful.

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How many immature teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Your Mum.

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Why didn't the man buy the sportscar? He couldn't drive stick

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Duck: got any grapes? Lemonade Seller: no the duck waddeld away and never came back for the guy has no grapes

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What did the little girl say after her dad hit her? Nothing. She was a month old and died instantly.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's dad owned a shot gun.

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What's the opposite of white? Black. You're racist. You fapped.

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A teenager decides to stay home instead of go to college. His parents are fine with his choice since he is mentally ill.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Why are you asking me this question? That's awful and you should be ashamed of yourself.

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Wanna know a Chuck Norris fact? He is 72 years old and likely to die soon

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why did the boys run from Michael Jackson? because they thought he was a ghost

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Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

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Wanna hear a joke? Ruddell had sex.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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knock knock whos there i have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who Cream cheese

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Q: what's your dog's name ? A: Dog.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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