Roses are red Violets are blue I have a penis and a knife choose which one goes in you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? THE CHICKEN!

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An old man walks into a bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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A French man gets into a fight

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What do you call a 2 storied house ? A dolphin! :D

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm colour blind Which is sometimes quite annoying

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What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A unicorn

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There were three men standing outside. They were enjoying the nice weather.

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Q:where does baby oil come from? A:Only the finest of babies

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Why can't Hellen Kelller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Indiana Jones was riding on it to Pankot Palace

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A young boy walked in on his mom and dad in their room lastnight They were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

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What's brown and sticky? A piece of toffee, which is brown and/or dark brown in color.

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Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

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A man with Tourettes walks into his Daughter's kindergarten classroom. Fortunately, he was able to control himself and refrain from any outbursts of profanity during the visit.

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What did the cashier say to the blonde? That will be $5.39, would you like a receipt?

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with a road? To get to the other side.

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If 3 days ago was yesterday and today is Friday, how many legs does 7 dogs, 3 ducks, and 2 chickens have if the answer was red? Okay, not to sound rude but I'm gonna take a wild guess and say.....yo mama is so fat when she read this joke she ate the whole bucket of popcorn and didn't even share.

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What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? More than 6.

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If life gives you lemons, throw them at people.

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how do you save a black man ... u don't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops