How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

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Two guys walk into a bar, have a good time, and exit the bar, relatively sober. They are driven home by a friend who agreed to be the designated drive for safety purposes and enjoy the rest of the evening with their wives, to whom they are happily married. Then the joke ends abruptly.

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what falls from the sky, is white, and can kill you a refrigerator

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Two guys stopped at a restaurant for coffee. "I'll have a mug of strong coffee," said the first. The second said, " I'll have strong coffee too, but I want a clean mug." The waiter returns and says, "which one of you wants the clean mug?"

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You know why Michael J. Fox makes really good milkshakes? ... because he uses the best ingredients

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What's large, black and can be found in Australia? A large black Australian man.

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What happened when the man got into the taxi? The driver shot him 17 times in the chest and ran away

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So there's a monkey in a bar. I forgot the rest of the joke but your moms a whore

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I literally died laughing

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his soon to be butchered family.

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whats funny? this joke. just kidding. your face.

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Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

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What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in circle.

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What do you call a fridge? A Fridge

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What glows in the dark and is really annoying? A glow in the dark chimpanzee

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because no cars were coming.

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What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Exactly what he had asked for because UNICEF do a wonderful job.

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Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium BATMAN! Oh cemetery jokes

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A white player in the NBA. Wait...

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What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

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Q: What did the black man say to the sheriff? A: Good day, officer

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? I don't know, I've never tried to.

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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What do you call the birth of George Lucas? Terrible, abdominal pain for his mother.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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