A russian, a mexican, and an american are all sitting in a tavern. The russian ordered vodka, the mexican orders tequila, and the american orders a beer. When the waiter arrives, the russian throws his vodka into the air, shoots it, and says "we got too many of those in our country". The mexican tosses up his tequila and says "we got too many of those in our country". The american throws up his beer, shoots the mexican, and says "we got too many of those in our country". And then drinks his beer.

Why did the chicken cross the road? because he had legs.

Q: Why Cant The T-Rex Clap? A: No, Its Not Because His arms are to short, Its because he's Dead You Idiot...

“Before I know it, he’s got both of my hands in his viselike grip above my head, and he’s pinning me to the wall using his lips … His other hand grabs my hair and yanks down, bringing my face up, and his lips are on mine … My tongue tentatively strokes his and joins his in a slow, erotic dance … His erection is against my belly.”

A chronic hemophilliac walks into a bar. He cuts himself and bleeds to death.

No!

Facilitator huh? Sounds like someone that kills someone standing in the way, or bribes off others.

How do you kill a shark blindfolded? You untie the blindfold.

Where would a 65 year old man find a young, attractive woman who would take any interest in him? Very likely in a hospital, but that would be a professional interest, not a sexual one.

diarrhea.

What do you call a black man driving a helicopter? Blackhawk down

How do you confuse a blonde? I guess the same way you confuse someone of any other hair color.

What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

Knock, knock. Who's there? Jesus. Jesus who? You're going to hell.

So there were three guys on a plane. they all died.

I had a really great joke to tell you!

what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper doesn't respond because he is a grasshopper and therefore can't talk.

Q: What did the bus driver say to the black man? A: Nothing, he simply greeted him with a nod, as he would do to any other person who chose to ride the bus.

How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

Roses are red Violets are blue one plus one Equals two

My dog has no nose, how does it smell? Using its anus.

What do you call a rabbit with carrots in its ears? Anything, it can't hear you!

what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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