Why does everyone treat Jesus as some sort of saint for making five thousand people bread, when Hitler made six million people toast?

What did the black man say before he went to sleep? im going to sleep

Why did Hitler kill himself He saw his gas bill

What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

What did the Ethiopian get for Christmas? Nothing.

You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

Why was Jenny alone? Everyone else had died in a zombie apocalypse.

what did the ox say to his son when he left for collage? bison

Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

What do you call an unconscious black man? An ambulance.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

What is the difference between a black person and a pizza? Nothing, they both taste like chicken

You stink so bad that you should cleanse yourself via shower and/or bath.

Why did Bob stop at the light? Because it was red and not doing so would be illegal.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

A flight attendant walks up to a black man on a plane. She then asks if he would like anything to drink.

What's black and white and nailed to the floor? A skunk that's nailed to the floor.

Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

Are you kidding? If you can slow down time when stressed, then that means that your perception of time is, well... Oh relative, but still wow! What about now though? Can you do it? And for curiosity`s sake, what if you jumped off a roof? Would the stress make it all really slow?

what does a deer and grass have in common? they are both green but i lied about the deer

What's worse than being shot? Being shot twice.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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