How Do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door take the elephant out put the giraffe in and close the door. The lion king has a meeting with all the animals but one doesn't turn up, which one is it? The giraffe because it's still in the fridge.

Roses are red. Violets are purple

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face"? The horse does not respond, because it is a horse and lacks any cognitive ability to speak or understand English. Instead, it becomes confused by its surroundings, takes a dump on the floor, and gallops out of the bar knocking a few tables over in the process.

why did the fish get flushed down the drain? because it was dead

Immaculate Misconception - Motionless In White \m/

A recently widowed blond was on her way to an appointment with her attractive physician, when she realized that she was almost out of gas, so she stopped to refuel at a station near his office.

what do you call a mexican whos lost his car? nothing, nick ate him

What's worse than having a worm in your apple? 2012.

http://www.booksie.com/declan_mckimm

Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

What was the blind man doing on the bridge? Getting struck by lightning.

What did the black kid down the road get for Christmas? Your Bike.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Tell her to inform the police that her significant other is assaulting them and that she should file a restraining order.

Why did the black man eat the fried chicken? He was hungry

Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up on its own? The kickstand was broken and the child whom of which owned the bicycle no longer had the need for training wheels.

what did the ghost say to the bee boo-bee

knock knock go away!!!

Why did Jimmy's mom cry? She got stabbed in the arm and was suffering while bleeding to death.

What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

scraggle is in you pillow case

What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

What's the difference between a black guy and an asian. They come from different race groups.

Why did the weiner dog have a bad childhood? Uncle Monty put his foot up its arse on a daily basis before chewing dorris's nose, ears and eyelids.

Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes A; roadkill

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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