Why did Gary have severe learning difficulties? Because his mother drank a lot of alcohol while she was pregnant, and it harmed his development significantly.

Why did the christian go into the church? To pray.

What's wet and pink and fun to watch in someone's face? A big bubble gum bubble exploding into someone's face.

The first cow: are you worried about mad cow disease? the second cow: no, im a helicopter

A: What is faster than a speeding bullet? B: Light

Q: what did the emo girl use to check her email? A: A computer.

why did the midget beat the basketball player in a foot race? the basketball player got bit by a scorpion and died within minutes.

A deaf man walks into a bar. Someone yells, "FIRE!" and everyone evacuates. The deaf man does not hear him and dies horribly.

Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

A little boy walks into a bar its fine, he's over 21, he just looks younger.

Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we named a drink after you!". The grasshopper says "What, Dave?"

Does 2 + 2 = fish? No.

A hairy monster walks into a bar. It was halloween.

why did the baseball player strike out? he forgot the bat

Why Jimmy doesn't listen to his mother? Because he's deaf

What did the two prostitute say to each other? I dont know, i wasn't there

Mom: Uncle toms coming home from the war Jimmy: What are we going to do Mom: Bury his coffin he hit a land mine .............. Jimmy: ^O^

Lil Wayne's song 6 foot 7 foot was named after my wewe

A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

A girl walks into a supermarket. She picks up a banana, a can of soup, and a loaf of bread. She then walks up to the cash register to pay. The cashier looks at her and the items she has and says, "I can tell you're single." She smiles and responds, "How do you know that?" He says, "Because you're ugly."

True or fales? Eddie Izzard.

why did the tortoise cross the road? it does not matter, it got hit by a vehicle and died on impact.

Do you know why Justin Bieber is so successful? Because he is a talented dancer-singer who was lucky enough to be discovered by pop music icon Usher.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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