If an oak tree falls in the woods, and the tree has 3 squirrel nest in them, then does a whale jizz in the ocean?

Why did the man eat his wife? He was a cannibal

'knock knock' 'Who's there?" "the mailman, Ive got mail for you"

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

Who has a higher pitched voice than the average man? A woman.

A child wasn't wearing knee pads when he was skateboarding. He proceeded to fall of his board and break his arm

Why did the christmas tree smell like shit? because pavaroti used it as a dildo

A man walks into a bar........ gets eaten by a lion.

Q: What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

Why did Mexico enter the war? Because they were bombed.

Why are Holocaust locations so expensive? They were mass acres.

how do u wake up lady gaga? poke her face

Why did the chicken cross the road Because the farmer is obviously to stupid to build a proper chicken coop, and thus his chicken is crossing the road and will most likely be hit by a car

Why did the crab blush? It didn't because crab's can't blush.

Holy Tulip Answer- Sexy Mofo

So the priest took the 6 year old boy into the confessional...and He told him to say 3 Hail Mary's.

Two eggs are in a frying pan. One egg says to the other, "Gee, it's getting hot in here!" The other one says, "Shit, a talking egg!!"

why did'n the baby wake up from his nap? because he was dead

rofl lol, the joke below me has made my computer offer to translate this page. It thinks it's in Spanish

Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

What is white and fluffy? A cotton ball.

DAAAAAAAAMN! I AM BEHIND THE SQUARE WHEEL AGAIN! AND THAT SHIT IS POINTY! PRETENDING TO CARE IS SUCH A HASSLE! Anyway, I hope you know I was joking (otherwise you would totally be,not as smart as I thought) but yeah lets see, I am the fourth most pointless MAN, after "The square wheel", "My wife" (:)) I guess some guy just married the wrong wife huh?) And the the fucking wheel is a billion times more manly than Justin Bible or whatever you called that... Thing, and that wheel is made from a female tree! What? HAVE THE LAST COMMENT? I DO NOT GET HAVE! I GET TAKE BY FORCE! Well as far as comments and go, and sex of course.

Whats fat yellow and diabetic Brett lai lan

Wanna hear a joke? YEAH! Hold on. Okay, tell me when to let go.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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