Knock knock! Whos there? Me. Now open the door.

why is the man laughing. he isn't, he's just been informed he has testicular cancer.

Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

What's black, white, and red all over? Numerous different objects because many different things can posses a variety of colors, including the ones listed above.

Knock Knock! Who's there? ....Mrs Murray silently returned to her armchair, a single tear rolling down her weathered cheek. Her lonely existence deepened, as she realised the gang of boys had fooled her again.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks why the long face? The horse, unable to comprehend human speech, promptly craps on the floor and leaves.

Yo mama is so hairy she should probably start shaving.

What do you call a black priest? "Father" if you are Christian.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Roses are red.

A deranged serial killer walks into a bar. No one leaves because he looks like a normal guy.

Why did little Suzan fall of the swing? She has no arms. Knock,Knock Who's there? Not Suzan

In my eyes Nero, you are much like a philosopher, the kind which are mocked while they live, and then a couple thousands years later, are recognized as the most intelligent beings of their time.

Knock Knock Who's There Al Qaeda

What's Mackaulay Culkin's favorite salad dressing? Neverland Ranch.

Why was the trash man feeling sad about his life? Because he had a mild case of depression to which his doctor recommended taking antidepressant pills.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

What did the horse say to the other horse? We are both horses

My name is Corey, and I am Dickbang Majestic. Q: Who is Dickbang Majestic? A: Corey is.

Why did the Bruins win against the Flyers? ....they had goal tending.

Once soon a time there was a boy named steven. He dropped his ice cream because... You know the rest

what do you get when you come across a old dog with herpes, a fat man with herpes and an apple? you get nothing but the satisfaction of seeing such a horrific sight

Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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