What did one new born baby say to the other new born baby.? Babies don't have teeth therefore they are unable to talk.

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Somebody else besides you: what time is it? You: what time is what? SOmebody else: ? What?

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What do you think would happen if there was a zombie apocalypse? You would just die.

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What do you call a white guy pointing a gun at someone? A member of the United States Army.

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Alex watched his grandfather tear up as he told him the terrors of the Holocaust. Apparently killing Jews is hard on people.

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What happened to the gay guy? He died of aids...

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Harry Potter: Hey voldemort, you wanna go get our noses pierced?? Voldemort: I killed your parents.

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What do you call a black midget in space? The first true example of how hard work, dedication and sacrifice can help you to achieve your goals.

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What's your guys names?

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Living in Africa.

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A guy walks into a bar and says, "I'm Japanese". The guy at the counter says "What a coincidence! I am Japanese too." He gets seated and the guy next to him says, "I'm Japanese too." The bar is in Japan.

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Why was the dog barking... Because billy fell down the well

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Why didn't Pat's grandma go to his birthday party? Because she died last night

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How does a man with no arms ride a bicycle? He can't, he loses control and falls over, getting a few scrapes and bruises.

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A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender--TOAST

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Why did the boy with one arm have no friends? He was a cereal killer from Ireland.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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What did the alcoholic say to the blind man? Nothing. But he beat his wife and kids savagely.

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How many blondes did it take to screw in the lightbulb? Just one. She did a fine job.

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What has 4 legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you a pool table

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what do you do if you get in a car wreck with a black man get out of your vehicle and exchange insurance information

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Ammy Winehouse walks into a bar Don't you said we should stop jocking about dead people ?

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven. Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" "No," the man replies, "I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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