Coach: Hey, you missed the team meeting today, but I wanted to let you know we've had a number of changes to the lineup. Player: Really? Who's on first? Coach: That's right. A man with the unlikely name of Mr. Who is on first. We also have Mr. What on second, and Mr. I Don't Know is on third. The rest of the team is the same. Player: Oh. People have weird names now. But I'm sure they're great guys. Thanks for explaining that. Coach: Any time. Don't mention it.

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How many sumo wrestlers does it take to lift a huge rock? The point of lifting a rock just to lift a rock is stupid, so why would you get 3 sumo wrestlers to come out and waste their time.

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What's black, then white, then dead all over? Michael Jackson

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Yo momma so fat that when she sat on the bible jesus poped out.

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Remember those days where we planned what to do with our lives instead of wondering what things lied ahead? Those where the days, it does not matter if we are relics, heroes, or villains today. Back then, we did not seek to discover our future, we sought to create it, back then our people did not pray for a better day, but worked for it. And love and kindness was not something only found in heaven, but what we shared in what was the closest thing, to heaven on earth. Tell me the truth, are there many like us left in this world?

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh wait... I'm blind.

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what is green an invisible? this cabbage

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can probably lift more than 80 pounds

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A blind man accidentally walks into a gay bar. The bartender escorted him out and pointed him in the right direction.

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Q: Why did the girl have dirty knees? A: Cause she was dragged through the forest and raped.

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What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

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Why didn't the boy cross the road? Because there was traffic moving at high speed and he didn't want to be paralyzed from the waist down

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"It's a blimp, it's a hot air balloon!" "No wait, it's your mom."

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What do Lincoln, JFK, and Barack Obama all have in common? They were all president of the United States of America and are relatively good people.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Me. I am a psycopathic heroin addict, and i came to your house to violently rape you and kill your whole family. I dont have a family. Oh.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem is wrong As violets are violet

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How do you get a single-armed monkey down from a tree? Wave.

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what did the dog say when he walked in to a bar? Bark

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an old lady walked into a bar, used the bathroom and left. THE END

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What's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it? Getting brutally raped by a giant transvestite donkey witch.

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What did the resently released criminal get for his birthday? a nice sweater

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What does a black man do when drives up to a STOP sign? Stops.

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How is a frog similar to a corn dog? They both have really long tongues, except for the corn dog

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Liverpool City Football Club

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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