I scream, you scream, we all scream when we're chased by bears.

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Why didn't the woman cross the road? She died from breast cancer.

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What is the first thing you should do when a person is choking? Make sure the person is choking How can you tell if a person is choking? If he's going like this: aaghh gaghhg agghhh gaghhhhh ghghaghghgh

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Doctor, I am afraid of doctors, I dont even dare seek them up. Janitor: Thats quite apparent... Dr.Moral:

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

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Your at your local street corner and find a woman, the fact that she has balls dose not stop you from inviting her into your car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had very recentley made his escape from a nearby farm, of which was owned by a man close to dying of a Rhabdoid Tumor. His family was in mourn.

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DON'T READ THIS!!! you suck.

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No pen- no notes No notes- no study No study- no good grades No good grades- no diploma No diploma- no job No job- no money No money- no food No food- really skinny Really skinny- ugly Ugly- no wife No wife- no kids No kids- lonely Lonely- death No pen=death

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mark is life

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YOUR MOTHER IS SO FAT that she sought a relevant support group. My understanding is that she tried Overeater's Anonymous and lost a few pounds, but it meant more that it improved her sense of self-worth. She's more comfortable with herself as a somewhat overweight woman, and a much happier person now. We're all very proud of her.

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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how do you drowned a blonde? put ankle weights on her and throw her in a river.

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Women outside of the kitchen.

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. I just bought a new xbox.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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Your mom.

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All these jokes are so much funnier when I read them during class, laughing my ass off and everybody's looking at me like I'm retarded

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Why do mexicans like burritos? Because they taste good.

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YOU'VE WON A FREE IPAD!!!!! PRESS CTRL+W TO CLAIM YOUR PRIZE!

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AND THE GAME BEGINS ANEW!

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What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

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Q: what is the best way to pick up jewish chicks. A: with a pickup line and possibly a gift such as chocolates or flowers

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? YOU'RE UNDER ARREST! GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR! NOW!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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