what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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I haven't left my basement in 29 years

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Brandon Bass's career average for assists is 0.7 a game. guess what his nickname is bassy

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A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

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Knock Knock The door's open, wipe your shoes off on the matt

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what do you call and man that has a twitch every time someone say tissue broken arm, leg, hand, collar bone and there iphone? A mentally and physically demented man that needs serious help from a psychotherapist otherwise matter would get increasingly worse

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Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? seven commited statitory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8, murdered nine, was sent to jail for life, let out early for community service, and told 6 he was coming forhim 6 months later.... 6 commited suicide by jumping off a cliff his body was never found his family didnt get to say good bye thats why 6 is afraid of 7

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A black man and a mexican man jump off the empire state building.Who wins? Nobody,suicide is a serious thing and it is depressing to think that the minorities In America would do such a thing to themselves.

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Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Q: What did the schizophrenic man say to his father? A: "Every time grandmother's urn shrieks, this pornography turns to black ink."

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Why didn't the blond cry at her child's funeral? She died, too. It was a terrible accident.

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Whats a dogs favorite thing to eat? Food.

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

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So three hikers decide to face the deadly challenge of climbing Mount Everest. They were unaware of the risks, and were all brutally killed in an avalanche.

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A horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks "why the long face" Turns out the horse's family died that evening.

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange.

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Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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It's not that hard to be Dyslexic. You just have to accept it nad ovem no.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Bend Over.

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Why does the Batman theme song have 'na na na na na na na na' in it so many times? I guess Batman really likes sodium. Or maybe his record player's broken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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