Q. Why did the man die? A. Natural Causes

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Q: How do you make a fireman cry?? A: Drown his wife

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Knock knock Who's there Orange Orange who Orange

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A duck walks into a bar. Then he walks out.

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Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here

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A man walked into a pole barn oh wait I meant a pole bar so it actually hurt.

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what do call a purple animal that eats rocks? A purple rock eater..

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waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

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Yo mama so fat, that she's even bigger than the universe!

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Roses are red, yup.

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phone and phone charger were talking to each other suddenly a massive hand swopped down to the charger and another hand came down and grabbed the phone they both started screeming so the hand stabbed the phone with the phone charger so the phone said... ALL I DID WAS SCREEM (RANDOMZZZ) (L.W)

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Three Men walk into a bar. One with a ax and one with a Shovel. The other one isn't holding anything. *Boom* (\ _ /) (x . x)

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You: I have a question Person: Yes You: Do you have an answer?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he (assuming he bears male reproductive organs) saw some corn on the other side (using the light rays refracted primarily by his cornea onto the retina) which is his staple diet as he is a herbivorous chicken. As corn is the producer of the food chain in question and the chicken is the primary consumer, a fox being the secondary and an angry farmer being the tertiary, he needs to ingest this food source in order to obtain the glucose required to produce adenosine triphosphate by the process of aerobic respiration in the mitochondria of his chicken cells. Thus, the chicken crossed the road.

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Why was the old lady sad? Her husband was raped by an angry gallon of milk.

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2 corpses are sitting on a bridge one fell down both are dead

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Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

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God and Allah are having a metaphysical picnic, God says to his fellow deity: "Why do you think so many humans have been killed in our names?" Allah muses upon this for a moment and replies: "Because they think we exist."

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Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, Im very sorry.

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Wife, "Wake up... i think there's someone in the house, do something... go downstairs and have a look!" Husband, "Do it yourself." Wife, "You what? You can't expect a woman to fight off an intruder..." Husband, "You women wanted equal rights so here you go, do it yourself."

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What did the rich white student to the poor arabian teacher? good morning Mr.Stevenson.

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sorry about this, my enter key is stuck down... Really sorry guys. Nearly fixed it. Look I said I was sorry! All fixed :~D

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Why do skinny women eat their food fresh cooked? So that they don't contract food-borne diseases and risk dying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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