An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey. Posted by: BerserkSpoon

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a kid was born with down syndrome on christmas night

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A man walks into a bar, he says ouch.

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Q: What happens when Lisa drops an iPad? A: She plays Desperado on the sax.

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Why did you fall? Because of my buttcrack.

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Why didn't the dinosaur cross the road. Because roads were not invented then dumbass.

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

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What do you call a black man with no legs? Crippled.

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Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

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Q: What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? A: You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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What is worse than going to school? Nothing.

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Q: How Do you make a baby be quiet? A: slowly chop it's head off with a blunted axe once it's head is off eat it

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"The Civil War wasn't won in a day, it was won in a lifetime." -Marc Cruz

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You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

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Why was the Japanese man unable to see? Because it was extremely sunny outside and he had forgotten to wear sunglasses.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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There is a blonde, a redhead, and a brunnette stuck on a deserted island. the redhead gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk the 100 miles back to shore. she begins swimming, gets 10 miles out, gets tired, and drowns. the brunnette gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk it too. she gets 50 miles, gets tired, and drowns. The blonde decides to escape as well. she is able to swim 98 miles, gets tired, and swims back.

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A man had come into a bar. No wait, it was a horse. A man had come into a horse.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your dog pooped on my lawn Now my violets are even more blue

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What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

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Q: Guess what my Mom and Dad did last Night on the Kitchen Table.... A: Had Dinner.

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What did the boy find I'n his water? Ice

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Why did the chicken cross the street? K

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what did the addidas sign say to the nike sign? I'm all in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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