A: Knock, Knock B: Whos there? A: Noone, the door and the visitor are both existential figments of your imagination.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was involved in a homicide at the Children's Hospital resulting in death row right away and was involved in the killing of 12 other numbers on last Tuesday.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A woman was in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband. Shortly after she brings the sandwich to him and he thanks her seeing as his disabled legs prevent him from walking to the kitchen and making one himself. His wife later heads to her job as a firefighter.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the black man not get to go to the party that was filled with all white people? His mother had recently died and so he had proceeded to go to his mother's funeral instead of heading to his white bestfriend's party.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the dog hairless? I lied, it was a pig.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There once was a man from Kentuckit, who like to dissapear with his dog and clean up the shit using a plastic bag and put it in the allocated public bin.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. I shot him in the head. With a bullet made of lead. So now he's dead. No more eating of shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

thomas the train walked up to an old man and said nothing. mostly because trains cant walk, and they cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your mamma's so obese that she can't stand up. She's been like this for years. That's because she's dead. She died of cardiovascular-related diseases.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is Ron afraid of? Spiders!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happened to the woman who walked down a dark alley way? She found a lolly.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Have you seen the flock of birds? probably not because they hit a window and all died at impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The truth is he loves her!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's better than winning the Paralympics? Having legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many dead babies can you fit in a telephone booth? Mmm, strange question for my HSC maths exam...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

WHART++EWEEEEEEEP FLARPEN CARPEN FLARP

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your momma's so dumb, she has below average IQ.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

You know what happens when you assume? You make a judgment based on incomplete information.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

hey! have you seen that clown at Walmart that hides from gay people?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why do Jews fast for Yom Kippur? It's part of their tradition.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Moose A: What do you call a moose with diapers on its head? Moose B: Me.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops