Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

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Pete and Repeat were sitting in a boat. Pete fell off. I hope he was wearing a personal flotation device.

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What do a rubix cube and a penis have in common? The more you play with it the harder it gets.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Why was the asian a bad driver? Because while he was driving a leprechaun was punching him in the face.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Infamous last words: "Phew these Germans are finally gonna let us take a shower! Okay who farted! And do not lie because it smells like gas in here!" "Oh Crickey! That reptoil looks dangerous! Good thing I am immune to reptoils... Wait are Manta-Roys reptoils? uh oh..." "Hi OJ dear! Say hello to my brothe..." Moral: Hmm my chest hurts I wonder if... YAAAAaaaaaaaaaaRAGHGHGhGHGHG *dead* RESURRECTION! Phew...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Roses are red...

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Why was the Mexican running through the desert? A group of bandits had kidnapped his family, raped his sister, drowned his mother, decapitated his father, and now they were coming for him. They are coming...

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A Minister a Priest and a Rabi walk into a bar, they are not setting a very good example.

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What's the Chinese guy's favorite color? Blue.

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An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

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Pandas Everywhere!!!

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Guess what? You guessed it.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She didn't own a car.

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What did the meteorologist say when there was tornado? There is a tornado 7 miles West of the station.

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man 1.have u sen my girl friend man 2. yes man 1. rely man 2. no man 1. dick

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A man walks into a sofa. BANG

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roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

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Yo momma so ugly, she couldn't fulfill her dream of being a model.

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A man walks in to a bar and everyone screamed running out the door.

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Why did nobody like Anne? She was disabled

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How do you get pikachu onto a bus? You can't. Pikachu is a fictional creature and therefore does not exist.

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A Mexican man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "haven't you got a damaged liver?" The Mexican replies "haven't you got a job to do?" The Mexican died 2 seconds later

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops