Why was the little girl crying? She got raped by a giant scorpion.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

When is a great time to eat chicken fingers? Never Chickens dont have fingers therefore making it misnamed and impossible to eat them

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Some guy pretends to be Santa on the street. He touches a little girl and says "It's okay i'm Santa" So the pedophile Santa molestes the little girl. The little girl goes home and says that Santa touched her so the parents go looking for this guy. And then they find out he died of a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A blind man walks into a deaf woman. He tries to apologize but she can't hear him.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why didn't the dinosaur cross the road. Because roads were not invented then dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... Your mom's a wh0re.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you kill a blonde? Drench her in fluoroantimonic acid and watch her explode in a violent and gruesome death.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Bryson got a concussion...he died

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats bigger than 'burger king'? A. burger

thumb_up thumb_down +6

My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the dead man say? Nothing because dead human beings have no beating heart and do not live so they cannot speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

a man walks into the bar and gets knocked out

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Why did the man die of starvation??? A: He didn't eat for 3 days!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A British man walks into a dentist's office.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

when life gives you lemons your like wait how did i get these lemons??

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between Jesus and a painting? It only takes one nail to hang up a painting.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what happened when the sports mascot ate a bean and cheese burrito? he shat inside his costume and got fired.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

thumb_up thumb_down +6

if a sentence contains the words "Chuck Norris" it still has to end up with a period otherwise it is bad grammar and is looked down upon by American society.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you fit an elephant into a car? You can't. Unless it's a baby elephant. You would probably also need a convertible with the top down.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A: "Knock knock." B: "Who's there?" A: "John Doe." B: "John Doe who?" A: "..."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops