What did George Washington tell his men before they got on their horses? Men get on your horses.

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why is your mother dead? because i killed him.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. The worst ones remind you of how horrible your life is.

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A blond, a brunette, and an Asian take a test. They all get exceptional grades and pass college.

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Why can't Ray Charles see? Because he's dead.

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How is a frog similar to a corn dog? They both have really long tongues, except for the corn dog

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SUCK MY 29 AND A HALF FOOT LONG DICK BITCH JUST KIDDING............ IT IS 69 FEET LONG GIGADY

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what do you call a gay ginger boy ? Ronan.

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if life gives you lemons, you have some lemons

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What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower. A Mexican that is fresh out of college and does not yet own a lawnmower.

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What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One you can smash with a hammer and the other is just a watermelon.

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the waterhorse is a beautiful creature. It often frolics through fields of wheat.

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An Irish man, an English man, and a Scottish man are standing on the edge of a cliff. The English man and the Scottish man both fall of. The Irish man calls the authorities to alert them of this tragic misfortune.

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Why was the priest circumcised? He had a very painful urinary tract infection

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Whats funnier than watching the kid next to you on the computer? Nothing because he is still trying to figure out that i unplugged his mouse!

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A black man walks into a bar. The barman says 'We don't serve your kind here'. The man leaves and goes to a nearby bar that doesn't have racist staff.

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What did the mushroom say to the carrot? Is this even important given the current state of world affairs?

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Why did the dead chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was dead.

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Vaginal secretions

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Knock knock Who's there? Your mom Oh hi mom

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What do you call 100 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A weird kind of genocide.

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How do you keep someone in suspense? Refuse to let them view the resolultion of a gripping film.

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Q:What's the difference ethernet a corvette and a pile of dead baby's? A:I don't have a corvette in my garage

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Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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