What's the difference between a cow and some dirt? They're the same except for almost everything

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what's white, got three legs and you wouldn't expect to find in the rainforest? A fridge on a stool

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A brunette, a blond and a red-head decide to go swimming in a lake. To prepare, they go shopping together to get some new bikinis. When they get to the shop they are pleased to find that the bikinis are on sale and they get them 50% off. They drive with their new swimwear to the lake and get changed in the changing room. When they get out they notice that it is quite cold. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice that the lake is dirty. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice the lake is actually a spill of oil. They decide to go swimming anyway. They remember that none of them can swim. They decide to go swimming anyway. They jump in. They drown.

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Blonde: Hey, what does "Idk" mean? Blonde's friend: "I don't know" Blonde: Thank you for telling me, that has been bothering me for quite some time now.

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So, a screw driver walks into a bar, and the bar tender sais "Hey Screw Driver" we have a drink named after you" the screw driver goes, "Really? You have a drink named Bob"

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roses are red violet is blue why rik go to the hospital ? cause he eat glue.

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What did Hitler say to the Jewish boy? Nothing, Hitler died many years ago...

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What do you call a shoe with no laces? Stilettos, sandals, flip flops, slippers, etc...

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Why did Jessica fall off the swing? She doesn't have any arms Knock, knock Whose there? Not Jessica

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Donald Duck walks into a drug store and asks the lady behind the counter for a bag of condoms. So the lady says, "Sure thing sir, would you like me to put that on your bill"? Donald says," THIT(Shit)NO, I'LL THUFFOCATE! (Suffocate)

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -George. -George Who? -George Carpenter, Remember? We were in the same class in third grade. -Come on in!

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Why did the dinosaurs become extinct? Because they wanted to.

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How do you make a girl scout cry? Kill her family.

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why are anti jokes so funny? cuz u pobably just laughed at this one.

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What do you call a man with no arms and half an eye? Larry -Jack Sparrow

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at a grocery store? Because I wanna spill some milk on the floor so they can call spill on aisle 9 and I'll be there waiting for you and watch you clean my mess.

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What's purple, green, and orange? Dead baby with slashed floaties. What's black, purple, and orange? Same baby two weeks later.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the shed I'm gonna screw you

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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the man walk in to the shop and brought a pet nothing

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A black guy and a white guy both interview for a job. The black guy gets the job because he is college educated and highly qualified.

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jd and zach loves vigina

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roses are red... violets are blue ..... Cancer

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why did the man take the bus to work he didnt have a liscence

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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