What's green and has wheels? Weed. I lied about the wheels.

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How do you kill a dead baby? You can't, it's already dead.

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Why is it a shame if a kid gets run over by a car? I like the newspaper headlines about stabbings better.

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There was 3 guys. A mexican, a black guy, and a jew. They work at a construction site and one day they found what appears to be a magic lamp. The mexican guy rubs the lamp hoping for a genie to appear and grant them wishes. Sure enough a genie appears. "I have been freed from the magic lamp." Says the genie "I shall grant one wish and one wish only to whoever rubbed the magic lamp." The mexican guy did not understand english. The jew steals the lamp and the black guy stabs him. The next day a blonde goes to the crime scene. He spot the magic lamp on the floor, picks it up, and rubs it. The genie appears. "I have been freed from the lamp. I shall grant one wish and one wish only to whoever rubbed the magic lamp." The blonde says "I wish Jose could speak ad understand english." Suddenly, the mexican appears and says "Thank you."

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Your mom is so poor She will soon have to make the difficult decision whether or not to put you up for adoption

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What do you get if you cross if you cross an overweight woman with a pair of very tight trousers? Exactly that, an overweight woman in inappropriately tight torusers.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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Q. What did the father say to his son? A. Nothing, he just hit him with his belt. His wife tried to intervene, but she too was hit by said belt.

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How do you know when a bag of chips is stale? It is past the expiration date.

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monkeys that understand what people say dont understand what people say because they understand CC

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like if u think princess kenny is the fairest maiden in all the land. if u dont, disregard this message.

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Kinky = using a feather Perverted = using the whole chicken Weird = using chicken bones Downright disgusting = all of the above, plus a cat

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If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

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whats dumb and small? dandruff

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What has got 56 eyes, 1 leg and 3 arms ? I don't know but that's right behind you.

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Whats big, grey, and cant climb trees? A carpark

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alex and clayton are having sex at school. at that point, their teacher walks in and tells clayton about the dangers of unprotected sex.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

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Whats worse than Lindsey Lohans vagina? Nothing.

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How did sonic run at the speed of sound because he was fast

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Rose's are red, violet's are blue. Rose's die and viloets are more purple.

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What did Kane Larkin get on his birthday? Cancer...

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? I don't know, he couldn't open the presents.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Join the bro army! BROFIST! http://www.youtube.com/user/PewDiePie :D

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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