A horse walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything or say anything because it is a horse. It proceeds to walk around and knock over a few tables before finding the door.

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What's the best part about having sex with a bunch of 3 year olds? There's 20 of them

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

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what did the teacher say to the students when she was talking about the solar system The sun is very hot. At the core it is 15 million degrees Celsius or 27 million degrees Farenheit. Using a magnifying glass, we can see the very hot heat and the light of the sun. Please do not do that because it can hurt your eyes. This makes the light very bright and the heat is so hot it could start a fire.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What did the blonde say to the brunette? I just ate a chicken panini.

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What did the black guy, the Mexican guy, and the Chinese guy have for lunch? A sandwich

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Doctor: Knock knock. Patient: Whose there? Doctor: Interrupting doctor. Patient: Interrupting doc... Doctor: Your son has AIDS and will die soon.

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B==========D-------------------------- im pissin man! god!

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Theodore was a small kid that lived down the street. Little did he know, that Kaiwen the Poor Pedo was his next door neighbour. So he was walking one day down the street. He saw Kaiwen dead. Because he ate too much sugar. So Theodore called the police. But his phone broke suddenly. Theodore realized that his brother had filled it with broken eggshells. He was sad. He took out a few golf balls and stuffed them in his mouth. But he couldnt forget taht a fellow neighbour had died. He buried the body beneath the Carpet of Ol' Justin's House. He wasnt happy. His dad confiscated his laptop. And the golf balls

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I drive in driveways. I recite in recitals. I play in plays. I park on parkways. My greenhouse is green. And my boxing ring is round. Why does everyone think I'm weird??

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Why did the girl drop her vannlia ice cream? Vannlia Ice punched her for being cool as ice.

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A white man and a drunken black man enters the bar, the bartender calls the cop and the black man is dragged into the police car. The black man screams YOU ARE RACIST! YOU DAMN RACISTS! The cops tell him he has been walking around the streets naked the last 2 days... Oooh... I am really sorry sir says the black man. He was forgiven and went sober forever. Moral: No moral, that is the anti moral in this anti joke...and besides I am a W class celebrity.enjoy life

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How do you hit a clown off a swing? There are many was of acting upon this situation but the most successful approach would be hitting the clown with a heavy object,

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What happened when the blackman saw the white man. they both said hello

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What did helen keller say when she saw a talking horse? nothing. because she didn't see the horse and they also cannot talk.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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If she's old enough to count, she's probably in second grade.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was blind.

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Oh you have herpes? yeah, there's an app for that.

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Q Whats the difference between a pich fork with watermelons and a pitch for with dead babies stuck on. A The pitchfork with the dead babies were severly shot in the kidneys and then the heart. Blake

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What's black, white and re(a)d all over ? A penguin in a blender.

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A woman is hit by a car. Thankfully she manages to survive, but the driver is fined a lot of money for speeding.

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Roses are red, violets are purple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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