- Anti Joke

Who's gay? Justin Beaver

What do you get when you put a goat and an owl together? A goat and an owl

I like playing in the balls. I like balls.

They don't call it Bangkok for nothing.

What is a pirate's favorite color? It depends on the pirate.

One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

A: Knock Knock! B: RING THE DOORBELL YA DUMMY

Why did the woman spray a black man in the eyes with pepper spray, then promptly run away? Because the woman was a notorious criminal and was currently robbing the man's house, but was caught in the act so she used pepper spray as her last line of defense while she fled from the scene before the man could call the police to detain her and put her in prison for her crimes.

why do fat people eat so much? who cares

Q: Who followed E.T.A Hoffman? A: ASAP Rocky. (ETA and ASAP are both time-based abbreviations, ETA meaning 'estimated time of arrival' and ASAP meaning 'as soon as possible'. Thus, ASAP can form a response to a requested ETA. Additional humour comes from the dissonant occupations of the two individuals: E.T.A Hoffman being a nineteenth century gothic author, and ASAP Rocky being a modern rapper.)

Q:Whats the difference between Jews and Pizza? A: Jewish people are humans, and pizza is a food

Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a light bulb Why? Because they're so darn stupid

What did the octopus say to the lion? Nothing, because the likely hood of a lion and an octopus meeting is incredibly slim, as an octopus is a sea creature, and a lion isn't. A lion and an octopus cant even communicate with each other anyway, so even if they did come across each other they wouldn’t be able to talk. Octopi are also anti-social creatures by nature so I can say with some confidence that the lion and the octopus will not have a convocation. Written By JAMES!

What did the Mexican parents name their first born son? Nobody knows. He was adopted by a nice family due to the fact that his biological parents were murdered in cold blood. His foster parents named him Kevin.

A Chinese man, a Mexican man, and an American man are all on a plane in-flight when the pilot screams over the intercom, "We are two pounds over weight! The plane is going down unless you all throw off useless things that have no value in your countries!" The Chinese man throws out a pair of chopsticks and an egg roll and says, "I have too many of those in my country." The Mexican does the same with a taco and sombrero, repeating, "I have too many of those in my country." The American looks around his items pondering what things are too common in the USA. He locks his eyes on the Mexican. The other passengers are shocked as the American throws off a hamburger and a football.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. It is an avian species incapable of throwing such a heavy material as wood.

Q: Whats worse than 5,000,000 African Americans being killed? A: 1 White person being killed

This one time, at band camp, I played the trumpet.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

Three blind mice. See how they run. Into things.

Why was Osama Bin Laden so hard to find? His hiding place was difficult to come across.

knock knock whos there open open who the door

If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

Eight hours? Sigh, leave it to me then! We both know you are a sweetheart behind that thick skull of yours, I mean why would you ask if it bothers me then?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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