The horse walks into the bar and the bartender says, "why the long face?" the horse looks at him and says, "my wife just died."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

There once was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many children, her vagina fell off.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

WHO THE FUCK IS NERO AND THAT BITCH THAT CLAIMS TO BE NOT NERO BUT NOT NEROMETAL OR WHATEVER? THEY BOTH CLAIM TO BE THE FUCKING MORAL MAN? I STARTED MY RISE TO INFAMY FOR LIKE... Fuck, when I was still studying, it was a fucking social project to prove that others opinions DO NOT MATTER SHIT IN THE END! And now these bastards (some cult faggot and Some "Nerometal" which are probably the same queer) CLAIM TO BE THE MORALMAN? I AM THE MORAL MAN! I AM YOUR FRIENDLY RAPIST/SOCIOPATH! YOU FAKE QUEERMASTERS! I CHALLENGE YOU!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

whats worse than the holacost? your mom giving you cubes in your drink when you requested crushed instead

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was Jimmy so bad at jumping rope? His father's car ran over an IED back in 2009. Jimmy had lost his legs in a tragic explosion.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Your dad is so gay that he payed for a male prostitute to have sex and now your family is in ruins.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the homosexual cross the road without looking both ways? He was blind......

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was the prostitute unsuccessful? because she had no vagina

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the boy fall off the zipline? He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

An alligator walks into a bar. The bar tender calls animal control and calmly escorts everyone out the back door.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why was six afraid of seven It wasnt. numbers are not sentient or tangible and thus are incapable of feeling fear

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the boy kill his parents? Because he doesn't understand this joke either

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: Why did the irishman walk into the bar A: Because he wanted a drink

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced to against his will by a group of marauding ninjas who happened to be strolling by at the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

You're so vein you are probably a tube that conveys blood from various parts of the body to the heart.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you make a mailman cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's twelve inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A elephant drowns when it was swimming, why did this happen? Who cares its already dead!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's white and can't jump? A fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than the Holocaust? • • • Stubbing your toe.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you get four gay guys to sit on one barstool? It's quite difficult, it would be easier to just get 3 more barstools.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops