How many people were trampled on Black Friday this year? Not enough.

Two guys walk into a bar.The barmen says "sorry we are closed." So the two men reply "There isn't a closed sign on the door and the door was open so we assumed it was OK to come in and have a drink". The barman says "Sorry we are closed at the moment but come back in 20 minutes and I can serve you". So the men leave and come back for a drink in 25 minutes time.

Roses are blue Violets are red I'm colour blind Which is sometimes quite annoying

Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

If life gives you lemons, throw them at people.

why did the chicken cross the road? to touch the goats beard

A young boy walked in on his mom and dad in their room lastnight They were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

Why can't Hellen Kelller drive? Because she's a woman.

Q:where does baby oil come from? A:Only the finest of babies

roses are red , violets are blue i love bernard he loves me too if you take him from my place i'll smash my fist in your face.

Yo mama so fat she has to wear large clothes

What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? More than 6.

how do you save a black man ... u don't

A man with Tourettes walks into his Daughter's kindergarten classroom. Fortunately, he was able to control himself and refrain from any outbursts of profanity during the visit.

Why did the elephant cross the road? Indiana Jones was riding on it to Pankot Palace

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Knock Knock Knock" "Knock knock Knock who?" "Just let me in, you twat, it's freezing out here!"

i know the best knock knock joke! you start! other person: knock knock me: whos there ........

Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

What did the cashier say to the blonde? That will be $5.39, would you like a receipt?

If 3 days ago was yesterday and today is Friday, how many legs does 7 dogs, 3 ducks, and 2 chickens have if the answer was red? Okay, not to sound rude but I'm gonna take a wild guess and say.....yo mama is so fat when she read this joke she ate the whole bucket of popcorn and didn't even share.

There were three men standing outside. They were enjoying the nice weather.

What do you get when you cross a chicken with a road? To get to the other side.

A man walks into a bar. He hasn't been there before, and it's a Friday so it's really crowded, and it's really quite a dive, so he and his girlfriend decide to leave and find somewhere else to eat.

What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A unicorn

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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