Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

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Once a upon of time, cow said chicken go cluck. Years later, mustard was like a ketchup. I said it was good. Oh yea baby. It was a good day.

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How many chickens does it take to cross the road? It only takes 1 chicken to cross the road. You don't need a lot.

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In Soviet Russia, everything you do will have an equal and opposite effect, for the laws of physics still apply in every part of the world. No matter where you are.

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What did the little boy get after falling and hitting his face on the ground? A prolonged nosebleed. And Leukemia.

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What do you call a giraffe without a neck? Dead.

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Why did the little girl cry? She lives in Haiti.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You steal his princess

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2 black people and a mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The black person because they decided it would save gas if they all carpooled to their job.

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What's worse than finding a snake in your apple? Finding a snake in your apple

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Why did the chick cross the road? Because she's a gold digger homie, dat chick is greedy like a mofo. She be all up in your grill and sheit tryin' getchu to spend your money lik dat homie ditch dat hoe, she aint even worth it brotha.

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If Sally has 4 apples and Dan has 3 apples, how many apples do they have together? Red, because ducks have 2 legs.

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HURT

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Knock-Knock Come in! ...

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Chris:"knock, knock" Rhianna:"owwww..." Chris:"open da door" Rhianna:"so u can punch me in the face" Chris:"duhhh, I jus got brass knuckles"

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Roses are red, Violets are violet,

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What's brown and sticky? Shit.

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why did the doctor go to jail? he was found guilty of the murder and rape of a 6 year old boy.

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Opinions are like assholes. I'm not sure how they are alike, but that seems to be the general consensus.

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Q:What's black, wrinkled and smells like raisins? A: A raisin.

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What's more greasy than grease? Kevin's hair

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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"Is this the Krusty Krab?" "Yes. What would you like to order?"

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? It's hard to say, as this number depends on a large number of factors including the average area covered by one lick, the pH of saliva, the solubility of Tootsie Pops, the temperature of both the saliva and the Tootsie Pop, and the amount of saliva deposited on the Tootsie Pop after each lick. This is not to mention all the manufacturing irregularities that may occur during production, and varying tongue shapes and solvency properties of saliva.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops