why didn't Lebron James give me a fourth quarter?...he forgot his wallet at home and didn't have any spare change.

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A local police officer pulls up to tell you something. Listen carefully: Three zebras have been spotted crossing the Mexican border. He goes into his truck, pulls out a can of marbles, peanut butter, seven velcro straps and a rhino horn covered in glitter. Your mission is simple: Kill the zebras using your equipment. You will be rewarded if you have enough peanut butter to make a sandwich after. Go now... Get it done.

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life is like a box of chocolates... it doesnt last long for fat peopl

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Why did the boy cry when he sat on Santa's lap? Because Santa's boner reminded him of his pedophiliac step-father.

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Do you know what's the sexiest thing in the world? Sex.

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Your mom showed up at my house last night. I kindly greeted her and asked if I could help her with anything.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes now you do too.

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what's the difference between a blue fridge falling off a cliff and a yellow one? the yellow one isn't falling of a cliff.

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How did the young boy cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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Q: What did the mute kid say to his mother ?

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What's worse than finding your cat dead? Finding your cat dead because it choked on your goldfish.

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Jeff comes home from a long day at work. As a result he is very tired. So, he decides to go to bed.

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a man walks into a bar and was arrested because it wasn't a bar it was a bank and he shot and killed 4 people during the armed robbery

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What did the deaf guy get for Christmas? An iTunes gift card

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Oh s***

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? Firetruck. What starts with P and ends in ORN? Popcorn. What starts with S and ends in HIT? Shit.

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How do you know if elephants are watching a movie? If a Volkswagen Beetle is parked outside the movie house.

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Bugs dance, so do ants, Oh my glob it’s Adventure Time!

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Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he wants to drink. He orders a beer.

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? several.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She had no arms.

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Whos worse than Akise Teague. Mike Vick

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy this song doesn't rhyme penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops