Did you hear about the man who lost his right arm and left leg... He's ok now he's all right.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why was the woman in the kitchen? because societal standards placed her in such a situation

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What’s worse than being ruled by Adolf Hitler? Being ruled by Joseph Stalin.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

i like my coffee like i like my women. without a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are brown Violets are brown who the hell took a shit in my garden?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks into a bar, buys a pint of beer, talks to his friends for while and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Yo mamma so black, she uses armor all instead of lotion...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did little Suzy fall down? She got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you make a baby not cry? Do not throw a brick at it. ANTI-JOKE

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses the best ingredients.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they practise.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: what do u call a plane that flies A: a plane

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor. wheres my tractor

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you sink a Polish submarine? Hit it with a torpedo.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

The dog, Marley from Marley and Me. It died.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Want to hear a scary story?' I was droppin a two ball and the monster walked in

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Who wants $300? Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a man with no arms and legs, lying outside of your house? An ambulance, he's clearly in trouble.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the baby crying? He saw a nigga

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call your mother's bipolar brother with three arms? Uncle.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops